#19) Thinking about the economy

Friday, September 26, 2008

By now, most Americans have at least some inkling that the United States is in the midst of a grave economic crisis. But after scouring Bedford Avenue and interviewing various individuals who seemed to be outwardly “hip,” I have come to the conclusion that hipsters do not have the slightest clue about anything relating to the economy, possibly less so than the average American (see graph).

In order to help hipsters understand what is going on with major Wall Street financial institutions and the American economy, I have devised a simple analogy to outline the situation in terms hipsters can understand.

Let us pretend that the major players involved in the crisis are the members of the traditional hipster family, in which we have:

  • Daddy Warbucks, the successful businessman with several overseas bank accounts (the American Government)
  • The two beloved children, we’ll call them Fannie and Freddy (The Federal National Mortgage Association and the Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation)
  • The second wife (the American economy)
  • The coke-head hipster stepchild (recipients of the $700 billion bailout plan)
  • The hipster’s drug dealer (foreign investors)
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