[Weekend update: Secret society hipsters?]

Sunday, August 24, 2008

It was my best friend’s going away party. She was leaving for France the following morning and her roommate threw her a bash so that hopefully she would still be drunk when she got on the plane. Over the course of the night, I sought the biggest hipsters I could spot and struck up conversations, discretely studying my subjects in the wild. I anticipated encountering some awkward pauses and music elitism galore, but I never expected I would end up shooing coke-head hipster secret society members out of my friend’s bathroom.

There were four of them; three were clad in identical skin-tight black jeans and an assortment of black and white shirts and black leather jackets, and the other one (I can only assume he was the leader) was sporting a plaid button-down. When I commented on one of the jackets, the SS hipster disclosed that he got it at Beacon’s Closet for $20! During introductions, SS Hipster #1 did not hesitate to inform me of his self-importance.

“Yeah, I’m in a secret society,” he said nonchalantly, tossing his bangs.

“That’s cool,” I said. “What’s the point of it?”

“Yeah…” he started, a faraway look in his eyes, “I can’t really talk about it. You know. It’s a secret society.”

“Oh yeah, whatever. It’s fine,” I replied. “I’ll probably be tapped soon anyway.”

Later on that night they invited me to join! “Ah, sorry, I’m already in two others.”

When the party started to wind down, my friend’s roommate left for the bar with his posse, leaving just a few us to proceed with drunken goodbyes. But then all of a sudden, the hipster secret society members were back and snorting coke in my friend’s room!

I don’t know what it is about secret society hipsters that makes them think it’s OK to be the last people at a party where they don’t know anyone where even the host is trying to leave, while they wait for their friend to “use the bathroom” for 15 minutes (I fear for her nasal cavity!) but like, that’s gotta be a party foul on some level. It’s cool though because I had the opportunity to take this photo and blow their cover! In the absence of my photographer, I had to revert to my tried and true hipster-photography method of inserting a plant into the pic.

Tap this!

Tap this!


Photo by Lola Wakefield for Stuff Hipsters Don’t Like ©2008

Expert Photoshopping by Laine Stranahan for Stuff Hipsters Don’t Like ©2008


6 Responses to “[Weekend update: Secret society hipsters?]”

  1. walter said

    photo comment: the symbols you used to distinguish the SS hipsters from the plant (like they needed to be pointed out) is widely associated with freemasonry which hipsters would NEVER join. mainly because you have to 1) believe in god (any type of god is fine) and 2) care about the betterment of society. i realize the allure of having something to act smug about is pretty irresistable to most hipsters, but i’d guess they either made up their own secret society or were just lying…

  2. Melissa said

    lurking through my friends blog subscriptions, i found this golden morsel! & just so happens that ive had my own encounter with the hipster on the far *right*, chris prorock, im 99.9% sure. & i quote, “if you dont like the clash, i dont even want to know you.”

    i love this.

  3. holy shit! this is the most hilarious thing in my life!

  4. Indeed said

    That is indeed Chris Prorock. He’s quite a guy.

  5. leather jackets can really make you look good, they also make you feel warm and comfortable ‘-`

  6. Sarianna said

    I dated Chris ProRock for th worst 3 yrs OAT. Hip… Hip… So_gay.

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